When Claire was born the doctors said she was really observant, which apparently is a sign of intelligence (she gets if from my wife). I remember Claire looking at the many lights in the labor room and I thought how interesting it was that so young she was able to see them. Now, almost 5 months old, Claire continues to look towards the light. I will literally have her in my arms and move her from one side of the room to the other just to see her little neck turn as she follows the light.
Claire loves the light.
There are moments when Claire will have her eyes focused on the light and a distraction causes her to turn away. Usually this distraction comes in the form of a noise brought on by my incredibly hyper mutt of a dog named Rocky. When Claire realizes it’s just the dog, she tries to fix her eyes back on the light. Claire will often search and not find it. She will move her little head back and forth in desperation searching. I usually have to turn her so that I can point her in the right direction. When she sees it she is glued to it.
Claire loves The Light.
As a father I recognize that there will always be distractions in Claire’s life. My daughter will have her attention taken away from The Light by various noises, people and things. It is my job to always point Claire back to The Light. It is also my responsibility to make sure that I, as well as my wife are not allowing distractions and noise to pull us away from The Light or else we will not be able to guide Claire towards it.
I want Claire to be a saint.
That’s right, that incredibly “antiquated” thing that many deem impossible. I’m convinced that the reason we don’t have more saints in the world is because they have taken their eyes off of The Light. The distraction and noises–the other “shiny” things–caught their attention and they went from the True Light of the world to something flourescent, LED, fake. I see this a lot unfortunately and those fake lights can be pretty and enticing. They come in all shapes and colors and they can be custom-made to fit your own desire.
As I write these words while I hold my daughter my one desire and prayer is, ‘God please help me keep her eyes is fixed on You.’ Sure I want her to be successful, intelligent, creative and all those things that make life good, BUT…never at the expense of her losing her focus on God.
So daddy will continue to point her back to the light. Wave to her when her eyes catch the thousands of other shiny things, because even though they may be nice to look at in that moment, Claire loves The Light.
A number of years ago I started a blog that took people through my discernment process in the seminary (companionleo.blogspot.com). I was discerning if God wanted me to be a Catholic priest. I really enjoyed thinking, praying and writing about that experience. God had lots of things to say to me through that journey and those who read that blog, which I learned was more than just my mom, actually enjoyed it. Since the birth of my daughter Claire I have gone through lots of emotions, feelings and thoughts. I think that most guys shy away from expressing this kind of stuff, but I don’t want to. I’m no great writer (my grammar will surely prove that) and I am not expecting this blog to be on the “Forbes 100 best blogs” (if such a thing exists). I’m just a dad that is having a ball with his wife and daughter and I want to share about discovering fatherhood.